OK, ladies – let’s get real. I know you’re feeling totally overwhelmed, spinning a hundred plates, lurching wildly between work chaos, family dramas and an overspilling inbox.

I know you’re battling a mental load that’s way too heavy and that the stress is too much. You‘re likely struggling with your sleep and frustrated with yourself for relying on sugar to make yourself feel better. You’re probably beating yourself up, thinking that other women have got their act together and wondering what the hell is wrong with you. Maybe you’re busting a gut to maintain a capable, smiley outer face…while secretly feeling like a hot mess and total failure.

Feeling like a hot mess

I totally get how this feels. Back when I was juggling running a PR consultancy with looking after three young kids, I was a complete stress-head. I used to glug Night Nurse (from the bottle!) to put me to sleep. I’d chew my way through packets of gummy bears in a bid to decompress at the end of the day (and ended up having a tooth extracted). Self-care was a foreign language to me. I was exhausted, ratty, depleted and frequently horrible to my husband and three kids. In short, I was a hot mess.

The fact was, I was just too overwhelmed and too oversubscribed to look after myself. It was one too many things to worry about when I already had so much else on my plate. Wellness was something for relaxed, zen-like, glowing, yoga-toned women. I would gaze at them wistfully on the pages of glossy lifestyle magazines while I sat in the dentist’s waiting room.

On the edge of burnout

Wellness was not for the likes of me and my life. My focus was squarely on getting through each day. Thriving didn’t even enter the equation. I was teetering on the edge of a meltdown and had neither the headspace nor the time to devote to doing any exercise, let alone adopt a daily meditation practice.

Now that I’m a health coach, I recognise that same overwhelm in women who come to me for help. They’re aware that their health is suffering. They desperately want to stay well for the sake of their families, but they’re caught in a maelstrom of stress. They’re languishing at the bottom of their to-do list.

From this quagmire, they resolve to take themselves in hand by overhauling their diet or embarking on a new exercise regime. But the reality is that we struggle to make sustainable changes to our lifestyle while we’re flailing about in a state of chronic stress.

I’ve learned first-hand that we have to find some measure of calm so that we have the bandwidth to make meaningful changes. Trying to give up sugar or booze when we’re leaning on those very things to keep us going through the day is too much of an ask.

Self-care is a necessity

The fact remains: looking after your wellbeing is NOT a luxury. It’s a necessity. Especially when you feel like your brain has turned to mush and you’re just one email away from a complete meltdown.

Here are a few suggestions for gently finding your way back to wellbeing:

1. First Things First: Breathe!

When was the last time you took a proper breath? Not those shallow, shoulders-up-to-your-ears breaths. I’m talking about a deep, belly-filling breath that makes your shoulders drop a few inches.

Here’s a quick, simple exercise: breathe in slowly for four counts and then breathe out for six. Do this a few times. It takes all of 60 seconds and it’s like pressing the reset button on your frazzled nervous system. You can do it anywhere: on a work call (no-one needs to know) or while sitting in traffic.

2. Move Your Body (Even if You Don’t Feel Like It)

When you’re stressed to the eyeballs, the last thing you might feel like doing is stepping away from your things-to-do-list and doing some exercise. But here’s the kicker: physical movement (even just a quick walk around the block) will clear your head and allow you to think straight again.

Breathe in some fresh air and let your shoulders relax away from your ears. Ten minutes is all it takes to start feeling more like yourself again.

3. Get Ruthless with Your Boundaries

When you’re feeling totally overwhelmed, it’s often because you’re trying to do all the things for all the people. It’s time to get ruthless with your boundaries.

Learn to say “no” more often, and mean it. Delegate whatever you can (yes, even if you think no one else will do it as well as you).

4. Find Your Tribe (and Lean On Them)

One of the biggest mistakes we make when we’re stressed is trying to tackle it all alone. But we need our people: we need a tribe.  So call a friend, join a group of like-minded women, share the load and remind yourself that you’re not in this alone.

5. Stop Being So Hard on Yourself

Most importantly, be kind to yourself. You’re doing the best you can in a stressful, unpredictable world. Cut yourself some slack. Celebrate the small wins. Most of all, ditch any aspiration of perfection.

Take some action

What’s one small step you can take today to feel better? Ditch that guilt about taking time for yourself. As we’ve all heard a thousand times, you can’t pour from an empty cup. You certainly can’t take care of everyone else if you’re falling apart at the seams. Choose something that feels the most accessible to you right now: and then give yourself a big pat on the back for doing it.

Would you like to get on the road to feeling more energised, vibrant and confident in your own skin? Join my Wellness Unwrapped Self-Paced programme. It’s my most accessible, affordable way to adopt the healthy habits that will transform your wellbeing. Find out more here.